Vajazzling? Gross. Hilarious. Impratical.

I just recently received this emailed forwarded to me from my friend from her salon in LA:

Bonjour,

                 I have very exciting news for you exclusively from Cocktail Wax, We are now applying Swarovski Crystals to your newly waxed bikini and Brazilian  area! This is a new and upcoming trend that is great for special occasions or just to surprise that special someone!  Come in to get Vajazzled and enjoy a complimentary cocktail!!

You read that right. Vajazzled. Your bikini line. Someone would pay money to get crystals, Swarovski crystals no less, for "special occasions." Gag me.  Like the "Bonjour" at the beginning really classes that up. Right. Hasn't anyone been watching CNBC? We are still in a recession and the last time I checked recession chic did not consist of pubic crystals or any crystals for that matter. I mean, come on. Disco ball crotch? No way. That just sounds uncomfortable.

I started to Google for pictures and then I thought how weird that would be. This is not that kind of site people. But, this is the kind of site that would make fun of someone who vajazzles. Gag me again. Can barely say the word without gagging.  



Thankfully Gawker came to my rescue with the below hilarious gems. Oh, and they talk about how Jennifer Love Hewitt does it [just try to not get a mental image of that] so you know it must be in. Not.

{when polling men on how they feel about vajazzling}

Said another friend—let's call him Phil: "Okay. Um, no. Wouldn't, it, um, hurt both parties while doing certain things? Okay, maybe it would be funny as a surprise one time. But all the time? It feels like a real hood rat ghetto sort of thing. Or a J Lo thing, which is maybe the same thing. Then again I am pretty anti tattoos and piercings and body mods in general. I think girls are just perfect the way they are."

(Aw.)

And Videogum editor Gabe Delahaye feels very strongly about this issue. "Gross. People who vajazzle should have their vaginas taken away," he said. "They can have them back when they are ready."

Agree. If you are just dying to see what it looks like check out the PG-13 pics here.

Ode to the Fuchsia Lipstick of My Mother

I know that lately The.Well.Set has been devoid of my beloved fashion musings and I am sincerely sorry. If it's any consolation my brain has also been devoid of fashion musings because my work wardrobe generally consists of work out clothes {which doesn't suck} and the occasional suit for when I have a meeting and need to wear my big girl pants. 

Wait no longer my friends! Inspiration has struck. Writer block has passed, the SXSW fog is clearing and I am ready to write again... I give you my ode to fuchsia lipstick.

Fuchsia lipstick, you say? 

[it looks like it's spelled wrong, but it's not. trust me, I google'd it]

Yes, an entire article about fuchsia lipstick because we all know how I feel about a) lipstick b)cost per wear and c) it happens to be really hot right now (see the Who.What.Wear layout above). These are three things that are the building blocks of my fashion persona and I urge you to make them a part of your own. 

How does one get to love lipstick so much you might ask? Look no further than my fuchsia lipped mother (far right in the early 80s, on the family farm in bright lipstick with my sister, Aunt Molly, and Great Grand Pappy Afton, my namesake). From before I was born to this day that woman wears lipstick like it's her job. 

No other make up on? No problem! Lipstick is everywhere. Literally everywhere. In every car, every coat pocket, in every drawer. She stashes and stocks up on lipsticks like they are illegal. 

She doesn't just wear lipstick... She puts it on and makes this pucker face in the mirror. It's fascinated me for as long as I can remember. It's like she's pretending that she's had her lips done or something. Nothing can make her feel more done than having her lips on and I've predictably started to agree. (that's her, my sister and I on Easter Sunday '89)

They say we all become our mothers and in this instance I am glad. Nothing could be more utterly feminine or affordable than lipstick. So here's to you mother dearest for inspiring me to put on some lipstick and act like a lady.

Where to buy, you ask? What do I like, you ask? 

You ask, I deliver. I like Dior Addict High Shine Lipstick in Flamenco Red 754.  I like it because it goes on like chap stick and the color stays true. Buy it here.