Some C-Good Advice: Cat v. Dog & Rehab as a Dating Service

The guy I like is about to get out of rehab. Should I give him another chance or kick him to the curb? Is rehab a raging red flag? I really want to think that he has changed..

Do you dabble in drugs? No judgment on this end, but it's something to consider. If he's going to be successful in rehab, he has to surround himself with clean, functioning members of society. Recidivism rates are high in regards to rehabilitation, but his chances are better if he doesn't return to the scene of the crime. Even if you're a "functioning alcoholic", he apparently isn't. For that matter, you might not be either.. Again, no judgment.

Why do you dig his chili? He might be a big downer when he's not on downers. Addiction makes people lie, cheat, and steal, but being sober can turn a formerly fun dude into a dud. If you were initially turned on by his aloof and outrageous behavior, you might be disappointed in the new and improved straight edge him. Fun Bobby syndrome if you will (forgive the lame reference). It's a thin line and you should be wary. Addiction is a disease that can be easily transmitted. You
might be drawn to a challenge, but Dr. Drew would advise you to stay away. He may return a new man, but if he doesn't, peace out.

I'm thinking about getting my first pet. Should I get a dog or a cat?

Are you responsible? Do you have a lot of time on your hands? Do you like picking up stinky loads of shit? Can you fork out enough dough for groomers and obnoxious squeaky toys? If not, do you and your roommates a favor and get a cat.

Dogs are great, but they're more like children than cats. No one should have a full time job and have a child (or dog) without hired help. Dogs smell. They make your house smell. Cats clean themselves and poo in easily removable clumps. I understand cats can be little bitches, but that's why they're so dope. They have attitude and don't follow you around like morons to sniff your crotch. Dogs dig in the trash and/or eat poop and then try to lick your face. Don't kid yourself, you know it's true.

I love dogs and I'm aware that I'm about to get some serious hate mail from sorority girls with tiny purse pups, but they're a pain in the ass. Cats are low maintenance and their nonchalance is intriguing. They live longer, they're cheaper, and they don't bark at every squirrel that walks across your feces covered lawn. Cats rule, dogs drool.

Need your life guided by the wise C-Good? Then email her pronto your questions or concerns at cgood@thewellset.com

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