By Hunter Montgomery
Dear Pretentious Sorority Girl Sitting Next To Me at Football Game:
Why are you sitting down? This is not a sorority house, if you want to sit down, save it up for FIJI lowhoops tourney, you can sit all you want then. And why are you so mad? Better yet, why are you even here?You have sat sulking with your spineless boyfriend, who you have ruined the game and most likely the whole season for, and done nothing but bitch and talk about how "ugly" your sorostitute counterparts look, because they don't have the latest tacky dress from the co-op. And put your iphone away, although i'm sure your wondering "is there an app for this?". By the way, do not sit in my seat. If you were standing I might let it slide, but you probably do not even know who our coach is, so you don't even deserve to be here. By the way, this is Longhorn football, we do not sit down.
Dear Clueless Sorority Girl Standing Up in the Aisle In Front of Me:
Get the fuck out of the way. That is not a seat. That is a walkway for people who actually move every once in a while. That's right. I know you would like to be dropped off in your bestie's escalade and have a bedazzled golf cart roll you around the stadium, but this isn't a country club. I understand and appreciate that you ARE standing, and you DO care about the game. I respect you for that. However, I did not pay 300 dollars to stare at your Tiff's Treats gorged ass the entire game. Please find a seat. Enjoy the season. P.S. Yes, the state fair is worth it--there will be funnel cakes.
No comments:
Post a Comment