Gross. Awesome. The Stuff of Nightmares.

Best Snooki Portrayal Yet

JJ's Pick-O-the-Day: I mean, I try to be optimistic... But.

Who.What.Wear Beauty Board: Me-OW

Mischa Barton is one hottttt mess. Jeeze.

Rachel Zoe is Prego! Let me just geek out a little...

Us Weekly reports that Rachel Zoe is pregnant!

“It’s very hush-hush,” a source says of the fashion maven, 39, who is expecting her first child with husband of 12 years Rodger Berman. “She’s telling people she can’t travel,” notes the insider.

Why You Should Vote

Early Voting starts next Monday, Oct. 18th! 

Find your local polling sites here.

Who Needs MTV Anyways? They Don't Even Play Videos.

Pretty Good Jay-em: Deuces

This song is almost good enough to forget about that one time you beat up Rihanna did that unspeakable act of domestic violence. Not. Let's just say I won't be buying this song, but will for sure download it illegally. Say. Say. Bye. Bye.

It's like Judith Leiber for the next generation! Bravo!

P.s. I can kind of see your nips, but great purse!

It's been a long time since I've been into the LV monogram. It's so aggressively recaptured by knockoffs around the world that its almost lost some of its brand value. It's unfortunate because once the House of Louis Vuitton stood for glamour, intrigue, old money and of course world traveling - I can't think about LV without picturing their iconic duffle and even more iconic steamer trunks - but lately it's just stood for outdated and overly consumeristic tendencies of the pre-recession life we all once had.

I must say that I was recaptured by Mr. Jacobs with this LV ball bag. The tassel! The sparkles! The fun and whimsy of what fashion once was... I must admit that the Spring 2011 collection was not one of my favorites. Too gimmicky: too over the top Asian fusion, too much going on, etc. Especially in the wake of some much need minimalism on the runway the show overall just seemed off or at least too ill timed. But Marc Jacobs won me back when he sent this final look down the runway. While I could do without the body painted 'shirt' I cannot live without this purse. It's like Judith Leiber for the next generation! Bravo!

DVF: Best Wrap Dresses and Soon to Be Make Up Label

[theCut] Diane Von Furstenberg will launch a beauty line with ID Beauty this fall, starting with a women's perfume that she and Chantal Roos, the former president of YSL Beauté, have been secretly concocting for the past year and a half. They will later expand to skin care and makeup, which Von Furstenberg promises will be "very advanced" and "technological." Cosmetics aren't totally new to the designer, who had a beauty line and a perfume named Tatiana in the seventies that she sold to Beecham in 1983. No word yet on what the new fragrance will smell like, but it's safe to assume her cosmetics will includehot fuchsia lipstick and something nice to dust onto your decolletage when it's on view next spring.

Midland Rocks

Happy Friday of ACL! I Lurve Liz Lemon.

JJ's Superlative Sunday Picks for ACL: You've Been Schooled

foals (Sun, 1:15p, Honda)

The members of the mathematical rock quintet Foals come from Oxford, England, and have been playing together since 2005. Lead singer and guitarist Yannis Philippakis, guitarist Jimmy Smith and bassist Walter Gervers wear their guitar straps high, allowing them to show off their dexterous riffs across melodies that capture the band’s poppy, frenetic, post-punk sound. 

portugal the man (Sun,  2p, Budweiser)

If for nothing else than their clever name and album titles (i.e., Waiter: “You Vultures!” The Satanic Satanist and The Majestic Majesty), Portugal. The Man would deserve some renown. For better or worse, bandmates John Gourley and Zach Carothers also hail from the same hometown that provides the setting for Sarah Palin’s Alaska. (They now share a house in Portland, Ore.; the home state of members Jason Sechrist and Ryan Neighbors.) But their engaging alterna-pop-rock is the real reason scores of fans are paying attention—and the reason they landed a deal with Atlantic Records, for whom they’re now recording the follow-up to their recent release, American Ghetto. Of all places for a northern-exposed band to record, they chose the dusty West Texas town of El Paso.

and/or

dawes(Sun, 2:20p, Austin Ventures)

Harking back to L.A.’s Laurel Canyon scene—Joni Mitchell, Jackson Browne, Crosby, Stills & Nash—Dawes embraces a rootsy Americana vibe that draws from folk rock’s creative heyday, but adds a contemporary country-rock edge. The quartet of Taylor and his brother Griffin Goldsmith, Wylie Gelber and Alex Casnoff emerged from the ashes of the Goldsmith brothers’ previous, harder-rocking outfit, Simon Dawes. Prolific indie producer Jonathan Wilson (Jenny Lewis, Elvis Costello) helmed this band’s debut album, North Hills, at his cottage studio, where all the songs were recorded live. This touch lends the work an intimate rawness and showcases the band’s crisp harmonies—and an emotional maturity that belies the group’s collective youth. Dawes are hot off a national tour in support of North Hills including a career-making run at South By Southwest.

gayngs (Sun, 3p, ZYNC card)

Gayngs isn’t just a supergroup. It’s more like a super kingdom that’s been inhabited by more than 25 talented indie artists, including Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon and Mike Noyce, P.O.S. and Solid Gold’s Zack Coulter and Adam Hurlburt. The band formed in 2008 in Minneapolis through the efforts of producer/songwriter Ryan Olson, along with Coulter and Hurlburt. They drew their initial inspiration from British art-pop band 10cc’s hit, “I’m Not in Love,” and ultimately caught interest from a plethora of like-minded collaborators. That 10cc sensibility makes its way into Gayng’s May 2010 debut, Relayted, which maintains a soulful-paced tempo at just 69 beats per minute and weaves streaks of R&B, soft rock and a large dose of airy vocal reverb to create modern, tripped-out indie-rock.

yeasayer (Sun, 4p, AMD)

The trio of Yeasayer, comprised of Anand Wilder, Chris Keating and Ira Wolf Tuton, released one of the most anticipated albums of 2010 with Odd Blood, an electronically-infused dance-rock romp through a twisted and exciting musical realm. They first made an impression with their 2007 debut, All Hour Cymbals, winning over audiences with their dreamy hit “2080.” On Odd Blood, single “Ambling Alp” captured the imaginations of listeners with its driving rhythm and anthemic, fist pump-worthy chorus. The New Yorkers have since been touring extensively throughout the states and Europe, moving bodies and caressing ears all along the way. Some of their music seems to tightly embrace ‘80s pop, whereas some strides into deliciously folky territory. No matter what era the guys play with, they always play with gusto, making them a must-see live act for music fans of all ages.

edward sharpe (Sun, 5p, ZYNC card)

For a band known for their peace-and-love hippie aura, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros have an awfully high body count in the first two segments of SALVO!, the band’s 12-part music video series. The videos thus far feature lead singer Alex Ebert (ex-Ima Robot), as the main character and devil’s offspring Edward, and follows him through his misfortunes in the desert. The band is a rotating collective, with 10 members listed on their Rough Trade Records bio. Rolling Stone declared the group an artist to watch in 2009, calling them a cross between Arcade Fire and the Mamas and the Papas. Their own biography perhaps summarizes their effect best: “Fans are known to be so overcome with emotion at their live shows that tears of euphoric joy are not uncommon.”

the flaming lips (Sun, 6p, AMD)

All Music Guide's description of the group as “acid bubblegum” is as good a label as any to try to explain the dancing-about-architecture nature of Wayne Coyne and bandmates, currently co-founding bassist/keyboardist Michael Ivins, multi-instrumentalist Steven Drozd, who joined in 1993, and drummer/percussionist Kliph Scurlock, a member since 1999. Showman Coyne handles reedy vocals, guitar, keyboards, assorted other instruments and weird theatrics, like floating in a bubble over crowds, filling the stage with animal- or Teletubbie-costumed characters and various forms of provocative behavior. His bent for weirdness extends to bizarre song and album titles like “Psychiatric Explorations of the Fetus with Needles” and “Free Radicals (A Hallucination of the Christmas Skeleton Pleading with a Suicide Bomber).”

the national (Sun, 7p, Honda)

The genre of lyrically driven music has a long and towering tradition; Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits and Neil Young pair affecting poetry with moving music to capture the politics, relationships, emotions and movements of the times. The National’s Matt Berninger is keeping this tradition alive brilliantly, crooning or growling where appropriate as brothers Aaron and Bryce Dessner and Bryan and Scott Devendorf set evocative scenes for his voice to wander through. The group formed back in 1999, but their breakthrough came with 2005’s Alligator and its critically-acclaimed follow up in 2007, Boxer.The National just released their fifth studio album, High Violet, in May. Many of the songs on this record have already become favorites for fans at live performances, and the group’s television debut of High Violet’s “Terrible Love” on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon received universal praise. Berninger is a powerful front man, singing with force and truth to swirling, enveloping guitar melodies and sharp, heavy and driving drums to create a devastating musical experience.

Hoda is Obsessed with Beyonce

JJ's ACL School: Saturday

black lips (Sat, 3:30p, ZYNC card)

What do you do when you're sixteen and in deep?...“Where is their answer?” you may ask. Do those psychedelic swamp guitar drones bear witness to a faith of some kind? Does the quasi-violent sexual comedy of their stage show underscore a deeply held belief system? Does their commingling of Deep South, big-tent revival rhetoric with hoary-throated, drug-haze mumble truly mean anything, to them or to anyone else?  

local natives (Sat, 4:45p, Austin Ventures)

Local Natives make soaring, sky-scraping harmonies, dreamy orchestral melodies, and throbbing tribal beats that bash their way into your soul. Theirs are songs you can dance to almost as well as you can swoon to them. Drawing a line from the vocal stylings of Crosby Stills Nash & Young and the Zombies through the more esoteric edges of post-punk and Afro-beat, this California five piece have communally crafted a brand of indie rock all their own.

For Local Natives everything is a collaboration, from song writing duties to the band’s self produced artwork. The three part harmonies come courtesy of keyboardist Kelcey Ayer, guitarists Ryan Hahn and Taylor Rice. Then there’s Matt Frazier on drums and Andy Hamm on bass, who look after the band’s equally impressive graphics and artwork.

temper trap (Sat, 5:30, Honda)

 The Australian quartet Temper Trap has fate on their side. The foursome came together when lead singer Dougy Mandagi moved from his birthplace, Indonesia, to Hawaii and eventually to Melbourne, where he just so happened to work at the same retail store as drummer Toby Dundas. The pair decided to form a band, so Mandagi brought longtime friend and bassist Jonathon Aherne on board, and guitarist-keyboardist Lorenzo Sillitto rounded out the lineup. Temper Trap’s debut album, Conditions, produced by Jim Abiss (Arctic Monkeys, Kasabian), came out last year, and the track “Sweet Disposition” brought them even more attention when it was featured in the indie-flick hit 500 Days of Summer.

and/or 

the xx (Sat, 5:30p, ZYNC card)

One of this year’s biggest South By Southwest buzz bands, British indie pop act the xx scored huge acclaim with its maiden release, 2009’s xx, propelled by the singles “Crystalised,” “Islands,” “Basic Space” and “VCR,” as well as the AT&T commercial featuring Olympic speed skater Apolo Ohno and the song, “Intro.” The xx’s shoegazey soul, informed by the Cure, Pixies, Aaliyah and New Order, harks back to the house/trip-hop of Portishead.

monsters of folk (Sat, 6p, Austin Ventures)

A deep love of creating music coupled with the fresh, invigorating energy that comes from working with a new band drives the four minds in Monsters of Folk. Each a young legend in his own right, Jim James (My Morning Jacket), M. Ward (She & Him), Mike Mogis and Conor Oberst (both Bright Eyes) came together as friends to form a group in which everyone’s style can be felt and heard, woven through the band’s self-titled debut like an Americana quilt. Live performances reflect this, too, as members join forces on their unified tunes as well as delve into their own cache of songs from their alternate projects.

deadmau5 (Sat, 7:30p, ZYNC card)

Don’t let the elaborate mouse masks fool you—Joel Zimmerman is cheese-free. The progressive house artist takes his role as a musician seriously, playing most of his own material and assembling his tracks on the fly. His talent stems from a lifelong fascination with PC technologies and making music on computers.

lcd soundsytem (Sat, 6:30p, Budweiser)

James Murphy, the mastermind behind indie-rock favorite LCD Soundsystem, is equal parts musician and producer. In fact, he formed the band at the same time he formed his label, DFA Records, in 2002. The band garnered buzz quickly with the single Losing My Edge, a danceable, snarky dissection of how people rate “cool.” The group released its self-titled debut album in 2005, which featured “Daft Punk Is Playing at My House,” “Disco Infiltrator” and a second disc full of singles released over the previous three years. The album was nominated for a 2006 Grammy for Best Electronic/Dance Album.

muse (Sat, 8:30p, Budweiser)

Growing up in Teignmouth, Devon, Muse singer-guitarist Matthew Bellamy, bassist Chris Wolstenholme, and drummer Dominic Howard have been friends and bandmates since they were 13. Over the course of their five full-length albums and sold-out world tours, they’ve ruled the realm of dramatic rock ballads and punchy, fuzzy head-bang-worthy anthems.

They followed up their 1999 debut album Showbiz with 2001’s U.K. platinum-seller The Origin of Symmetry, and 2003’s U.S. gold-certified Absolution — the band’s first album to chart stateside. 2006's gold-certified Black Holes and Revelations further raised their American profile as the epic single "Starlight" dominated the airwaves. That same year, Muse headlined their first appearance at the Austin City Limits Music Festival.

Three years, a chart-topping fifth album (The Resistance), and a "secret" South By Southwest 2010 performance later, the band are back to properly rock the hearts and minds of ACL-goers with an army of lights and lasers and a barrage of heart-pumping rock songs.

It's important to know this

The 2nd Annual ACL Festival School by Jordan Jeffus: Friday

In preparation for what is going to be one of the most fun weekends of the year (PLEASE let the weather hold!), I've asked Jordan to provide us with some of her personal pics by day for this weekend. I said you give me the names and I'll pull videos and bio info from the ACL site. Let the ACL pandemonium begin! Look for me, I'll be the one in the psychedelic caftan noodling... 


Jordan's Fantastical Friday Picks:

JJ Grey and Mofro (Fri, 12p, Budweiser Stage)

Singing with a passion and fervor directly influenced by the classic soul heroes, JJ Grey has written and recorded five albums of original songs steeped in the rhythm & blues, rock, and country soul of his native backwoods home outside Jacksonville, Florida. Grey comes from a long tradition of Southern storytellers and, in that spirit, he fills his songs with details that are at once vivid, personal and universal. After a decade of hard touring, he still spends eight months of the year on the road, bringing his music to a loyal, ever-growing, worldwide fanbase. 

Miike Snow (Fri, 3p, Honda Stage)

The speed at which trio Miike Snow reached success—selling out shows on their first tour—might seem surprising, until you peel back the masks to reveal who is behind the project. Swedes Chris Karlsson and Pontus Winnberg, aka production duo Bloodshy and Avant, have been working with high-profile artists since the early 2000s, including Madonna, Kylie Minogue and Britney Spears—they co-wrote and produced Spears’ “Toxic,” and won the 2005 Grammy for Best Dance Recording for their efforts...Miike Snow is a record filled with danceable beats, deep synths and soulful singing care of Wyatt, and live, the groups’ uniforms of black windbreakers shimmer under the light, creating a contagious nightclub vibe befitting their infectious songs.

The Black Keys (Fri, 4p, AMD Stage)

Artists who grow up in industrialized cities tend to have a muscular, no-nonsense sound, and the Black Keys, a product of rubber capital Akron, Ohio, are no exception. The strength of their minimalist blues-rock has made the duo of guitarist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney popular not only among casual fans, but musicians as well. Gritty, elemental and full of Hendrix influences, it’s simple, yet expansive; hardcore, but not a metallic assault. If anything, the track “Tighten Up,” from their new album, Brothers, is sinuous, sexy and funky (yet spare), with tasty guitar licks and supple bass lines, some ‘60s psychedelic flavor and quite a bit of soul. 

Slightly Stoopid (Fri, 6p, Budweiser Stage)

With more than a decade of making music together, the members of Slightly Stoopid have perfected one of the rarest and most valuable skills a band can develop: the art of the stealth groove, that knack for quietly, almost innocently, sliding into a composition, and utterly lassoing anyone within earshot by mid-song. That's where the band has come to reside, musically: deep in the pocket, that ever-elusive, funky trench where a band can entrance an audience, hypnotize it and hold on to it until the set or CD is finished. 

Phish (Fri, 8p, Budweiser Stage)

Formed in Vermont in 1983, Phish—Jon Fishman, Trey Anastasio, Mike Gordon and Page McConnell—are known as masters of improvisation, humor and intricacy. They might do an a cappella barbershop-quartet rendition of “Free Bird” or reproduce an entire album by another band each Halloween in “musical costume.” Though Phish never intended to take over for the Grateful Dead as the planet’s pre-eminent jam band, they wore the mantle with relish, always looking for new forms of musical expression in any idiom they could embrace: psychedelic rock, jazz, funk, blues, country, prog-rock, bluegrass, classical.

Extended improvisational grooves are their stock in trade. In the process, they’ve attracted huge numbers of fans who love attending their roving summer festivals and special events: Phish’s millennium concert at the Big Cypress Indian Reservation in the Florida Everglades drew 85,000 people, reportedly the largest paid audience for any concert that night, and featured a 7½-hour set that lasted from midnight to sunrise.

Stella McCartney for Target Australia

As we all know, I have no problem shopping the globe for fashions that I am obsessed with (remember the instance with the German company and the Dries van Noten scarf - I rest my case) and this collection from Stella McCartney is no exception (click the above pick for a larger view). It will be online Oct. 29 and with pieces that look like they walked right off her Fall RTW runway, ahem, minimalist black suit, the lace, the cigarette pants, ahem, I'll be there with my AUS $/size conversion calculator in hand and my debit card. Check out some of my fave looks below.

Buy it all here Oct. 29. 

The Best Faux Fur for Fall 2010

It's finally under 90 degrees outside and I've had a request to discuss faux fur options. While I am a die hard real fur fan (bad joke), I am 100% behind the faux fur that is everywhere this fall/winter. While you may think that this post is ridic-io here in sweaty Texas then I implore you to wait one minute sir or madam because fashion, I'll be the first to admit, is not always about what is practical (please see the shoes in my closet). However, someday soon the temps will dip below 50 degrees and we'll all reach for our gloves and big coats and our friends up north will simply chuckle at how wimpy we are. Chuckle away folks, it may be colder where you are in comparison, but we are happier and have better tans. I bid you a good day sir. 

So, if you'd rather go naked than wear fur (thanks PETA), you're in luck. This fall, faux fur is everywhere. Many fashion mags include spreads spotlighting faux-fur coats and other creations - boots, purses, hats, etc. Even uber designer Karl Lagerfeld featured head-to-toe fake fur in his fall collection for Chanel (remember the Chanel Yeti Chic?):

Chanel F/W 2010

"Technical advances are so perfect you can hardly tell fake fur from the real thing," says Lagerfeld. "Fake is not chic ... but fake fur is."

Urban Outfitter's Faux Fur Purse

Whether it's a sign of a slow economic recovery (fake fur is considerably cheaper than the "real thing") or a nod to the growing "eco-fashion" movement it hardly matters. Thanks to a serious upgrade in the quality and varying styles of faux fur once what seemed ridiculous is now looking downright legit. 

Forever 21's faux fur's come a long way

My advice for buying faux fur is go for quality over quantity. If you are going to go faux make sure you get the best faux for your dough because it will make all the difference in blurring the lines between real and fake. Let's be honest: Forever 21 (or what I like to call Forever 24) faux fur looks and feels cheap and plastic-y (left), but the faux fur that Rachel Zoe uses in her QVC line is downright luxurious (right). 

Rachel Zoe's Faux Fur Vest

It has the texture, depth and glossiness of real fur - it is twice the cost of the Forever 21 version but that is still well under $100. Most importantly, and this is kooky, I'll admit it, you need to really smell fake fur before you buy it because sometime the cheap stuff has this smell and when you wear it and you sweat the smell starts to emanate and not in a good way either, trust me.

So, Texans be smart and get yourself a vest or a jacket with a faux fur lapel. I am partial to Zara's versions (left), which now has a website with search-able items, but alas, you cannot purchase anything online much to my chagrin - my wallet is grateful though. 

Zara's Interpretation of Yeti Chic

These partial fur items will keep you from sweating up a storm in your new duds here in Texas where we may get a freeze in January of 2011? Happy shopping this trend - it's a keeper - here are some more options of faux fury items I'm totes-mcgotes into:

Zara's Short Sleeved Fur Coat - perf for TX winters

Asos' $33 Snood (scarf + hood = Snood)