Up until last week, your reputation has been spotless. Now you have fallen to the level of other mortals due to your indiscretions. Nobody is perfect, so the fact that your squeaky-clean image has been tarnished is not the issue. Cheating is to professional athletes as being a giant dbag is to John Mayer. It is (sadly) common and expected.
But the two "WTF were you thinking??" points I want to make are:
1) Have you seen your wife? Not that I condone cheating if your wife is fugly, but OMG!?!? She might be one of the hottest women ever. You cannot do better than her. I get that people cheat for a lot of reasons, but I really don't think any of the reasons could possibly measure up to the hottness of your wife. Especially the ones you picked up in Vegas. You are a fool. But, you seem to have realized that and are willing to pay up (monetarily and emotionally) to make it work. Good for you.
2) One of the skanks who has come out with allegations (and texts, voicemails and detailed accounts) is referred to as "a former contestant on Tool Academy." YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.Note to all celebrities committing adultery: TRY AND CHOOSE SOMEONE WHOSE MOST NOTABLE RESUME REFERENCE IS NOT A TRASHY VH1 RELATY SHOW WITH TOOL IN THE TITLE.
So what should Tiger do now? According to Gawker, he should play some golf.
"Your job is simple. Just be Tiger Woods. That means, continue being the most robotic, uninteresting sports megastar of our time. You, sir, are a cipher. Fans and sponsors love you for it, because they can project whatever image they want upon you, and your inscrutable, uninteresting being simply swallows it up.
Golf is the most uninteresting spectator sport in the world. Golf fans are not moralists. They are people who believe that golf shirts in various shades of coral are acceptable outerwear. They are the bland upper crust of Middle America. That, and rich assholes who love to cheat on their wives. Neither of these groups of golf fans cares one bit about your marital infidelity, Tiger. Nor do your sponsors. What they do care about is being forced to think about something other than golf."
Update: Too good not to share. My mom's opinion on Tiger:
Do you find it ironic that golf is a game where integrity of not moving the ball and cheating is sooooooooooooo important?? and the fact he is such a competitor, but slutting around wit
h cocktail waitresses...how hard are THEY to pick up? He could at least try for a nun or something if he wanted to challenge himself!!By Rachel Upshaw, New York, New York
