Quarter-Life Crisis

By Christina Good

The term quarter-life crisis is used to explain a post-grad phenomenon many people in their 20‘s and 30‘s experience. It’s a relatively new term that has been popping up everywhere recently, most likely because boomer offspring are starting to enter adulthood in this wonderful economy. It is characterized by feelings of insecurity and self doubt that accompany depression and anxiety in the post-grad years.

The transition into adulthood can be very stressful for young Americans. Troubled quarter-lifers usually have uneasy feelings about their employment options if they are so lucky. 9am to 5pm is terrible. Old people are boring and meetings are pointless. Siesta’s are genius and we should get on that.

Quarter-lifers are trying to wash away all of their college sin and jump into normalcy a year after winning a Beer Olympics contest at the KEG house. They are expected to graduate, get a job, get rid of the Chlamydia, and marry to some other $40,000 a year millionaire.

It is a testament to how truly spoiled the Y generation were as children. Fat people pray to food; alcoholics to booze; and spoiled kids to their enabling parents. They get money and accolade at the touch of an iPhone. They are raised to believe that they are somehow “special” and when they don’t grow up to be neuroscientists, they freak.

Many have proposed solutions. Yoga, Jesus, or friends and family are some of the few; but I offer refuge in the form of mental adjustment. The ability of the individual quarter-lifer to accept their mediocre accomplishments is to sit back and enjoy their younger days sans botox and saggage. Take advantage of your youthful good looks, health, and fresh education.

At this point, everyone is on the same playing field. Even if you aren’t, blame it on the economy! Take this recession and run with it. You can even use the term “quarter-life crisis” to conjure up sympathy among parents and employers. One comforting thought is that maybe the quarter-life crisis will off-set its father mental quandary, the mid-life crisis. They won’t have to buy a red convertibles or start taking pole dancing aerobics in their 50’s. Wishful thinking.